letoldthingsdie | IC Inbox faderift

As amusing as it would be - maybe another time, pilot.

[He'd gotten his claws in enough. He didn't want to miss this discussion now that they were having it. Yes, what he'd said had absolutely been petty, but he didn't hate that he'd gotten an opportunity to drive a spike into his mother's pet protege.

He looks to Rey, his expression grim.]

When I spoke with Thranduil, he spoke of wanting to wait out our moment and of unifying the Rifters.

[Which he had made his stance clear on what little unity he was interested in when it came to Poe Dameron. All the same, they had a common goal of not being subjugated and not being purged by some Rite.]

[ The look Rey gives Poe when he baits Ben is almost as severe as the one she gave Ben, eyes flashing in frustration and nostrils flaring. She doesn't say anything further on it, since neither one of them seems to be escalating beyond casual ribbing. ]

Unifying the Rifters is important, and I think finding what natives would be willing to stand by us. The mages might not want to stick their necks out for us so soon after their own victory, but we might be able to find others.

[ Poe sees Rey's look and doesn't pursue any further. There was no point in making her upset further. After a moment, he gives a nod in her direction. ]

I agree about uniting everyone together. If we can find some natives, a handful, that might be enough, more would be the goal. [ He bites his bottom lip a bit before shaking his head. ] We could try speaking to some of them too. The odds may not look great, but it could be worth the chance.

There are other natives with shards too. They might join us if they aren't already mages. They won't like this any more than we do, if they decide to push the phylacteries.

[A beat.]

How many Rifters hold positions of power within the Inquisition?

[He knows it's not that important - these people could be in their pockets, after all - but it would be good to have a number and perhaps sink their presence further in somehow.]

Three.

[ Rey says after a moment and mentally going through the list of division leaders. It used to be four, but the Diplomacy leader stepped down after helping the mages. She idly wonders if she regrets that, now. ]

Thranduil is the only one in charge of a division, but it's the division tasked with looking into the phylactery creation. He's got the most sway, in this situation.

[ Poe crosses his arms loosely against his chest. ]

Three, out of how many?

[ What odds do the truly have with that? He knew it would be a tough fight to begin with. Thranduil seemed to be the only one that could do anything. As long as he'll fight for them and not against them. ]

If he is saying to wait, that's all we can do. As much as we all hate doing that. We can focus on other things while gaining the trust of the natives. It never hurts to have another plan in place when things start to crumble down around you.

Hm.

[He'll let Rey answer, given he doesn't know the numbers.]

All of this is well and good but if the Chantry steps in or the Templars, or this Rite is enacted - we die.

[He hated making it sound so dire but it truly felt that way.]

Four Division heads, one of which is a rifter. Nine project leaders, two of which are rifters.

[ So the numbers are obviously not in their favor, there. ]

For a while there were two division heads that were rifters, and the people in Kirkwall were not happy. That's how the curfew ended up in place.

[ She looks back at Ben as he lays out the fatalist prediction, lips pressed together. ]

We aren't going to die. One way or another.

We're going to have to go with pure luck on this.

[ He shakes his head knowing that luck can go in either direction. Good or bad they were relying on odds that weren't in their favor. ]

I was wondering about the curfew for a while now and how that came about. Why are they so wary about the Rifters? What makes us a threat to them? Just by being unknown and unfamiliar. If the people of Kirkwall took time to get to know us, it would be such an issue.

[ That's the only thing that makes sense to him. There's plenty more frustrations but for now he needed sense in all of this mess. ]

We'll keep fighting if we have to. But we need to be careful.

You saw what fell out of the sky with you. They think we are the same thing. Demons and fade monsters. There have been efforts to foster communication that I’ve heard of but with tensions openly high and creating unrest I doubt the natives want to “take time to get to know us”.

[And the only reason he wasn’t joining in on all of Iorveth’s angry yelling is because of Rey. He looks to her now, hoping she can sense that much. He felt hopeless about everything else about all this but she was here. They could get through this somehow.]

A lot of them seem more afraid of us right now than openly hostile, but... there are people who are sympathetic towards us. We just have to keep showing them that we're people just like they are.

[ She can sense that Ben is holding himself back from the anger that other rifters are displaying because of her, and she appreciates it. She'd been doing her best to keep calm herself, but part of her wants very much to just go tear apart something with her hands. ]

If they are only afraid and not hostile, we may have a chance. It'll be better than just waiting and doing nothing. Being able to talk to the natives and sway them to our cause.

[ He looks to Rey first at the people line while glancing up towards Kylo Ren. ]

I'm sure treating others like people shouldn't be all that difficult for some of us. Thank you for telling me all of this, Rey.

[ There's a moment of where he looks down towards the floor. He's pretty sure there isn't anything else. ]

I don't think there was anything more and I think the discussion of what to do is coming to an end. If there isn't anything you need from me. I'll leave you two to your prior business.

[The look he shot Poe for his last attempt at a dig was lethal at best.]

Oh no, by all means. You sound like you have something that you want to get off your chest, Dameron. In the interest of unity, maybe you’ll feel better once you do?

[Yeah. They were definitely doing this.]

[ Rey grimaces at Ben's words, looking back at him with obvious distaste, before looking back at Poe. ]

We really don't have to do this now.

[ Poe could feel that anger bubbling and he grits his teeth together at Kylo Ren. By the Maker, he would have said something back. But this was also Rey's bedroom, and certain talks about invading minds can be left said later too.

Rey's words were true and sensible. He would keep his lips presses while puffing his cheeks a bit silently. For a moment he doesn't say anything but he puts his attention to Kylo Ren. ]

Next time we bump into each other I think that's when it can happen, if you still want me to get things off my chest. [ He would at least give him that while looking at Rey. ] I'll be going now.

[ Since all he needs to do is turn quickly while opening the door. He does so in a fluid motion and gives himself enough room to slide by the open space. Once out the door will shut close quietly. ]

[When Poe leaves again, Kylo takes a breath and seats himself against the edge of the desk, puffing his cheeks slightly and then blowing air out. He didn't want to look at Rey knowing he'd see only anger. When just moments before his blood had been pumping in his ears and her hands had been on him, he was expecting admonishment instead of affection. He knew he wasn't blameless, of course. He'd said things and when Poe said things back he'd had no problem driving it deeper.

He doesn't speak, though he debates whether or not he should leave her be. He'd come here to help her be less angry about this mess with the phylacteries and instead he'd let his own anger lash out around him, just as he always did. He takes a breath, chancing a glance to her face. He already had an idea of what he'd see.]

[ Rey watches Poe leave and heaves a sigh, turning to look at Ben. She's upset, but the look on his face almost chases that away. ]

Why did you have to be like that?

[ Almost, but not quite. She's really more disappointed than anything. She knows he's abrasive, accepts that he isn't always going to get along with people, but he seemed like he was deliberately trying to egg Poe on, and that frustrates her. ]

Is it enough to say that I hate him?

[But that wasn't quite right. He'd been angry from the minute Poe opened his mouth I think I know what I saw. The accusation in his words, the idea that Rey should be judged for choosing him - it made him angry. He knew better than to be protective of her. She was fully capable of defending herself be it with words or actions.

He didn't quite hate Poe. Merely hated the things he represented. Seeing him was a reminder of his mother.]

You heard him. You saw how he looked at us.

[And it was his fault. Anyone who looked at the two of them together would only ever be disgusted because of the monster he was.]

You can't hate him, you don't know him.

[ Rey shakes her head, walking over to her bed and sitting down, her shoulders tense as she looks back at him. ]

He just looked surprised. Then you didn't give him any chance to react like a normal person because you started right in with your claws out.

I can hate lots of people for lots of reasons. It's not terribly hard.

[He just didn't hate Poe for the reasons he wanted to convince himself of: Poe Dameron was a Resistance Pilot, Rebel Scum, an ant to be crushed beneath his boots. He'd lost men to the Resistance's antics. Those should all be the reasons he hated him, but they sounded hollow to him even as he decided upon them.]

He wasn't surprised. He was disgusted.

[Maybe he was only seeing what he wanted to see, but he'd heard the words and he couldn't shake them. No matter what he did or how he tried he was a monster. Even if he tried to keep peace within their small part of the Inquisition, he would be seen as a monster by the natives. If he tried to stay and make Rey happy, he'd be seen as a monster by the people who were supposed to care about her. More importantly, she would be too. He was convinced of that.]

Edited 2018-05-10 21:20 (UTC)

I'm guessing a lot of the reasons you have for hating Poe are reasons you could also apply to me.

[ She says it levelly, but she knows. They haven't really talked about their very large difference of opinions since he'd first arrived here. It had been easier to focus on other things. ]

He wasn't disgusted, Ben. Even if he was, what does it matter? I don't need his permission to be with you.

[ She can feel that upset in him, that people will only ever see him as a monster, that they might decide the same of her because of the company she keeps. ]

I don’t hate you.

[His response is immediate. He never hated her, not even when they tried to hate each other.]

You aren’t one of her soldiers. You’re with the Resistance but you aren’t with the Resistance. Not the way he is. You’re with them for the same reasons you clung to Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. You wanted to belong somewhere. Leia Organa makes you feel like you belong.

[That might not be a hundred percent true but for him it was. Thedas was different. She didn’t belong for a family she craved. She belonged for herself. That was probably more accurately her feelings too, but she wasn’t one of his mother’s soldiers.]

I’m afraid that you choosing me won’t be enough for you someday.

[He was afraid to admit he was afraid.]

I told Obi-Wan once that I can never go back to the Jedi, but it’s not just about that. Luke changed everything. I can’t go the same direction you want me to go because of it. If it means I look like an ass to Poe Dameron or whoever else I don’t care. If it means you- leave, then I understand.

[He rises to his full height again, feeling suddenly restless.]

Edited 2018-05-10 23:42 (UTC)

[ She has conflicting emotions here. Part of her wants to be angry that he discounts her belonging in the Resistance because she just wants to belong somewhere.

Pressing her lips together as she thinks of how to respond he admits his fear that her choosing him won't be enough for her. That changes her response as she exhales. Standing she walks over to him, reaching out to slide her hand into his. ]

I won't leave. I'm a little annoyed, but... I care about you, Ben. It doesn't matter to me if you don't like someone, we don't have to have the same friends. But given the situation we're in, it is better if you at least try to be civil towards him? Until this phylactery stuff has blown over.

[He nods in acquiescence to her request. He couldn't help the prejudice he feels towards Poe but he knew it was misplaced in the moment even when he'd made that first barb at him about the Resistance fighters who had died.]

I'll try. I'm sorry.

[He presses his lips together, slipping his fingers between hers.]

It's just- he showed up here and I've been angry just seeing his face and - it's a reminder. Having him here. You and I talked about starting over and letting all of it go and I haven't really done that. I probably haven't done anything you've asked.

[Which honestly made him a hypocrite, for all his talk of letting the past die. Sighing, he leans in to press a chaste kiss to her lips and straightens again. He wanted to hold onto this thing they were building together but he couldn't shake how many issues it had opened up just trying.]

So. [Did she want him to leave? He didn't want to ask.]

[ Rey doesn't miss the irony of him having trouble letting the past go. She however has been doing everything she can not to let things that have happened in the past come between them.

But she also knows that he's had civil conversations with Obi-Wan, that he hasn't tried to attack the Jedi since their first meeting. He might not think that he's done anything she's asked of him, but she also thinks he's made steps towards the light that he just can't see himself. ]

You've made an effort. If you hadn't, I don't think we'd be where we are, right now.

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