letoldthingsdie | IC Inbox faderift

[He takes her hand on his cheek then, kissing her palm as he does. He loved her. The thought that he could lose all of that scared him.]

We should... probably clean up a bit.

[It's a half hearted suggestion because he doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to have her leave her spot on top of him. She's snug and warm and her skin on his is comforting.]

[ Rey wrinkles her nose at his suggestion, nodding her head. ]

We are starting to stink.

[ She's slow to move, however, and that's at least partially because they're a mess of tangled limbs, half-shucked clothing, and fluids. She considers her options for a moment before rolling off of him to lay next to him on the bed, exhaling heavily when she exposes her front to the air. The room isn't cold, but after cuddling up against him it feels cold. ]

I've got water in the basin over by my wash tub, we can use that to clean up.

Maybe just a little.

[He agrees. The room smells like sweat and the heat didn't feel so overwhelming now that she's moved away. Even so, he still feels a little lost without the anchor of her right against him. He clears his throat, fixing his pants as he rises from the bed to pad towards where she's indicated the water basin to be.

Once it's wet, he starts with his hands and then his stomach and wherever else he had made a mess of himself. He couldn't help wrinkling his nose, noting how messy it was just cleaning himself up. They'd definitely both need to change clothes.

Once he's rinsed the rag thoroughly he turns to her. Returning to the bed with it and, before she can protest, he takes her hands and cleans each finger carefully.]

I think I definitely made more of a mess than you did.

[ Rey sits up as he rises, shucking her pants entirely because she'd rubbed his mess off on them as well as dragged herself through it, so they need to go to the laundry. She fixed her underwear, though those would also need to go. She swings her legs over the side of the bed as he returns and she gives him a smell smile as he takes her hands and cleans them. She'd been fully prepared to get up and do it herself, but there's something tender about him doing it for her. ]

Yeah I wasn't entirely prepared for that. I mean I know... enough. But Jakku isn't exactly the sexual education hub of the Republic.

I'm sure we'll get better at it.

[Of course, he realizes the implication as soon as he closes his mouth and he presses his lips together in a thin line. Yes, in the heat of the moment, they had entertained ideas of what it would be like to have sex together but that didn't mean either was ready for it. Still, he can't deny the image of her with her mouth on his neck and her hips canting against his hand would leave the back of his thoughts for a long while.]

We have enough time for that, I think.

[Once he's carefully cleaned each one of her fingers and both palms, he leans in to brush his lips over hers. They were a bit cleaner now but still a bit disheveled and their clothes were dirty. He begins moving the rag up her belly, looking down at the sticky mess on her skin. The sight of it was somewhat gross and arousing at the same time. It was a complicated feeling. With careful diligence, he moves on to her chest, wiping away the mess he's made of her skin.]

Edited 2018-05-19 00:02 (UTC)

[ She smiles as Ben talks about future endeavors, more looking forward to it than the quiet panic that had settled over her the last time the topic had come up. She's become more comfortable with the idea, and now that there's no mystery between their bodies, it seems easier to picture, somehow. ]

I think we do, too.

[ She bites down on a smile as he cleans her belly and then moves to her chest, leaning in to kiss him again once he's done. ]

Thank you.

[He gives her a half smile, discarding the cloth and taking her chin in his hand once he does. He just takes a moment just to look at her, taking in her hazel eyes, the shape of her mouth, and all the other little differences he found between them. To say he was awestruck by her would be an understatement. She hung the stars in the sky for him, it felt like.

He leans in, kissing her again and pulling her against him to lay back in bed. Skin on skin, he wanted to lay with her in bed like this, just the two of them.]

I wish we could do something about the rest of that mess.

[The phylacteries. He didn't want to think about it in this room, where they were safe from all of the uncertainty behind these closed in walls. Still, he knew they could only add to any worries they already had.]

[ His looking at her starts to make her feel a little oddly self conscious, but when he kisses her that dissolves fast enough. She lets him pull her down, wrapping her arms as far around him as she can get them. ]

I know. I do too.

[ She's a little unhappy about the resurfacing of their earlier conversations, but she knows it isn't something they can just pretend isn't happening. ]

I'm still on board with running away if they try to force us to do it.

[He can sense how unhappy his turn of conversation makes her and it makes him unhappy too.]

Sorry. I know it's not what you want to be talking about right now. Me too. It's just- mm.

[He didn't want to admit he was afraid of what would happen if they did try to force the Rifter's hand.]

Running away sounds tempting. We could find our own place to live.

[He knows if they separate too far from other Rifters they would be in pain, but he still believed nothing was so painful as what Snoke had put the both of them through.

Wanting to think about that even less than potential Rifter revolts, he focuses his attention on her, sliding his hand up her back and letting himself get lost in the feeling of her skin and her warmth.]

[ She curls against him, wrapping one of her legs around his and tucking her head against his chest. Sighing at his touch she rests her cheek against his skin, listening to the steady beat of his heart. ]

Somewhere far enough away that they wouldn't know us and the Inquisition couldn't find us. Rivain, maybe. There isn't much of an Inquisition presence there. Though I'll need to learn how to swim.

[When her leg wraps around his, his hand drops instinctively to her thigh to pull her close to him. The other rubs circles into the soft skin between her shoulder blades.]

I can teach you how to swim.

[He tucks his chin to the top of her head, feeling almost at peace despite the topic of conversation.]

Hopefully no one in Rivain thinks to turn us in.

[ Rey smiles softly as he offers to teach her to swim, tilting her head to look up at him. ]

Araceli offered to teach me, too. She grew up on the water.

[ She imagines Ben must have too, at least so much more than she ever did. She'd never even booted up swim instruction simulations on her old computer, even though they'd existed. The skill had never seemed like something she'd need, she could barely imagine a place with a pool big enough for her to turn around in, let alone water so abundant that a human could swim in it. ]

I don't think they'd turn us in. Rivain seems more lawless than the rest of Thedas. It's somewhere where people go to disappear.

Mm. Well, I wouldn't let you drown either way.

[He smiles a bit, pressing a kiss to her lips as she looks up at him. He'd grown up near enough to lakes and mountains that he had learned at some point. He preferred being in the air to water, though. That was one thing he still didn't like about this place: no flying.]

Lawless and somewhere to disappear. That sounds like it would be perfect for two Rifters abandoning their post against the Inquisition's wishes.

[He'd meant to sound humorous but it instead sounded like a resignation to his ears. His entire understanding of the Inquisition had been turned on its head by all of this. He remembered getting information when he'd arrived, being told that all of this was voluntary and that the benefits would be well worth it if they helped. It had been two months and they were no nearer to getting home than they had when he arrived. Now he wonders if it had all been a lie, a rouse for the Inquisition to enslave them.]

[ She smiles into the kiss, a hand coming up to gently slide up his cheek. She knows he means that, and has felt it in more way than one. She may be (somehow) the calmer of the two of them, but in just as many ways he anchored her. ]

Maybe more than two, the way things are going around here. Hopefully it won't come to that.

[ It doesn't sit right with her, abandoning the Inquisition. But she can't stay with an organization that doesn't respect the independence of their people. People who were torn from their homes and helping the Inquisition because they seemed like the best shot of getting home. ]

[He wrinkles his nose a bit at the mention of 'more than two'.]

As long as the pilot doesn't walk in on us again.

[He gives her thigh a light squeeze, choosing to focus more on her pressed up against him than the memory of Poe walking into her room.]

[ Rey lets out a quiet laugh, nuzzling her nose against his. ]

You're the one who left the door open.

[He kisses her again, dragging his teeth over her bottom lip when he lets her mouth go again.]

I'll make sure I shut it next time. I wouldn't want anyone else to see you like this.

[His hand on her upper back shifts, fingers teasing the side of her naked breast that was still pressed against him where they lay in bed.]

[ She lets out a little squeak as his fingers tease the side of her breast, squirming away from his touch with a small laugh. ]

Oi! You've got to give a girl some warning before touching a boob.

[ The fact that she leans in to kiss him again after her extremely brief escape attempt shows she isn't all that bothered. ]

[He starts at her admonishment, his hand moving back to her back and a flush spreading on his cheeks. He would have laid there, gaping at her with his mouth hanging open, had she not followed it up with a kiss.]

Sorry.

[He kisses her back, his lips curling at the edges into a smile.]

Should I ask permission to touch you?

[Of course he would without hesitation.]

[ She hums softly in consideration, mouth still pressed to his, before giving her answer. ]

Depends on where you touch me.

Mm.

[He hums in agreement against her lips, not wanting to part long for something so mundane as talking.]

Next time I'll ask, then.

[He goes back to rubbing circles between her shoulder blades. smiling a bit apologetically.]

[ It's almost funny to her how so much circles back around to kissing between them, these days. If you'd asked her a few months ago if she ever thought she'd be overcome with the urge to constantly be kissing anyone, she'd have balked at the idea. But so much of her has come alive since she and Ben began this journey. ]

You don't have to ask every time. I'm just asking for a lead up. Touch my side before going for the boob, something like that.

[ She murmurs against his lips, words punctuated by pauses to press her lips a little more meaningfully against his. Talking while also kissing, another skill she's been exercising more. ]

[He can't help but chuckle at how serious she is about it. It's a legitimate request, of course, but the fact that they're talking about it at all is just so surreal.]

I can't help but misbehave a little. Sorry.

[Even when talking or moments when they part because one of them laughs or whatever it goes right back to their lips touching or their noses or their hands. He felt so touch starved that he hadn't even realized it until he was able to touch her - or anyone, for that matter.

His hand drifts back to her side, his thumb rubbing circles against her rib cage. It was his favorite thing to do, tracing his fingertips along her skin. Maybe if he did it enough she would instinctively be able to remember it no matter where he touched her.]

Edited (WHY IS DIALOGUE SO HARD) 2018-05-20 05:41 (UTC)

[ She kisses him softly, like they had before when they'd been fully clothed and just trying to distract one another. Certainly they'd distracted each other well. ]

I know, and I accept that part of you.

[ She loves all parts of him, every touch he gives her. She's spent her whole life avoiding touch, she doesn't want it to stop now. The thought of him touching her has lightened her days, and thoughts of this night would certainly help that lightness. ]

I love you, Ben Solo.

[He kisses her back instinctively, happily caught up int he moment. When she says that she loves him it pulls him out of it again and instantly his throat feels tight, his chest heavy with emotion.]

Rey. I love you too.

[He says her name as if he were gasping for air and she was the only one giving him oxygen. If it was anyone else, hearing his birth name would have struck him with irritation, with anger and resentment, but with her he only feels drawn in by her.

He swallows, trying his best to control the emotion that her profession of love has brought on in him. In his own way, this was what he'd been trying to say to her before in Snoke's throne room. She came from nothing and yet, while she was just a speck of life in the rest of the universe, she was everything to him. He'd wanted her to be with him so badly, even then, going so far as to beg her. Please.

Her very being burned brightly like a supernova and he loved her for it. Yet, he knew that for him to love anyone or anything was dangerous. His parents had loved him and Luke had loved him but it had only ended in heartache. He didn't want to believe this would end the same way.]

I love you... so much.

[His arms wrap around her, holding her against him while he buries his face into her shoulder. He hadn't realized how both painful and freeing it was to hear her say it to him until she finally did.]

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