letoldthingsdie | Inbox for prismatica

[ She's so close that when he stops to talk about his home it makes her whine a little, though she ordinarily likes listening to him talk about the places he's been. Opening her eyes she looks at him, her mouth hanging open as she nods her head at his question. A hand moves to his hair, brushing it back from his face as she tries to articulate what she wants, can see it in her mind, fucking him until they both lose sense of time and reason, like they've done so many times before. She tugs on his hair a little. Just hard enough to hurt. ]

I want to come on your cock, Ben.

[He doesn't mind the pain. He's felt worse things in his lifetime. She makes him feel like he's come home, in moments like this when they indulge in one another like this. He couldn't touch her completely the way he wanted to, but he was happy with this. It was almost enough.]

Is that so?

[He smiles, innocent enough on the outside while inside he's preening from the affirmation. He rises up onto her bed, crawling on top of her but with care to avoid crushing her as he pushes her to lie back.]

Then I'd better not keep you waiting.

[His hands find the column of her throat as he leans in to kiss her, still tasting her on his tongue as he does.]

[ She misses his hands on her, though she knows he's restraining himself because he's afraid of hurting her. It wouldn't matter to her if he scratched her, she's been wounded dozens of different ways in her life. She'd crawled through a dusty air duct of a partially buried Imperial cruiser with a broken arm she'd had to splint herself on no less than two occasions.

But she also loves that he treats her like she could break.

Taking matters into her own hands when he settles over her she slides her hands down his sides, kissing him back and rolling the flavor of him and her on her tongue, a strange heady mix.

Her hands find his cock and wrap around it, squeezing gently as she arches her body up into his, smearing his tip over her soaked folds and moaning into his mouth. ]

[His worries about breaking her or injuring her would normally be nonexistent. He knew she was strong and had proven capable of breaking him on more than one occasion. She wasn't someone he ever underestimated. Yet, like this, he felt less certain of himself while he was like this. The claws were long and awkward and the wings had taken some maneuvering. He hadn't thought of what it would be like to have sex while he was like this.

As soon as she touches him he's singing a different tune and suddenly that feeling of wanting to be inside of her right now was rushing back and making blood pump in his ears. He digs into the mattress, claws undoubtedly leaving holes in her sheets, and gasping at the sweet sensation of her wet skin meeting his cock.

His hand finds hers as he thrusts against her palm to give himself more friction. He was fighting with himself to resist the urge to pin her down while he took what he needed.]

I don't want to use my hands. Could you just-

[He pulls away from her mouth, moving to bury his face into the side of her neck, eyes closed, overcome with need.]

[ She doesn't care if he rips her sheets to ribbons, the feeling of his body against hers is one worth ruined sheets. Laughing into his mouth as he thrusts against her hand, almost like he's seeking where he belongs. ]

Don't want any holes where they don't belong?

[ She murmurs, shifting so she can wrap her legs around his waist, adjusting her pelvis and lining her opening up with his cock. She strokes it gently, turning her head to press her lips to his ear. ]

Okay. I've got you.

Mm. I just- I don’t want to hurt you.

[As soon as she lines him up and he can feel himself meeting her entrance he pushes in with an artless jerk of his hips. His hands reach for her hips instinctively, his claws digging into her skin with the briefest lapse in his restraint. He groans against her skin upon his next thrust in. Why ever thought he could hold himself back he didn’t know.

His hands move to her hair now that he’s found some kind of unsteady rhythm and he cradled her head as he kissed her.]

I love you.

[ Rey exhales when he pushes into her, as wet as she is he's big enough that outside of her heat his pushing into her without some advance prep is a little painful, but by his second thrust she's adjusted, partially in assistance to the pain from his claws digging into her hips. Her hands wrap around his torso, holding onto him as he finds his rhythm, eyes closing as she relaxes into it.

She smiles as he moves his hands to her hair, kissing him and sliding her hands up to rest against his shoulder-blades where his wings begin. ]

I love you, too.

[ She murmurs, feeling warmth more than just her body reacting to his. The word "love" had never meant much to her, before him. Now, it's everything. ]

[He'd never really understood love. His parents had always been busy with their careers and he had been sent to Luke from such an early age that he'd never really seen what a loving couple looked like. Jedi lived isolated existences and he'd spent his formative years with Luke.

That lack of experience didn't seem to matter. His past was disconnected from who he was when he was with her. As long as she looked at him he could hope to be the man worthy enough to take her hand. She made him want to be that person. He wanted to believe he could.

Blind touches melted together with his hips thrusting against hers, in and out, tumbling down into some blissful abyss. He wasn't so concerned about his claws or wings getting in the way anymore, wasn't paying attention to the way his talons dug sharply into her skin while he held her in place. The threat of drawing blood was a far away thought in his mind. She was his, made just for him and him alone. All that was left was the need to touch her - to fuck her. Every cell in his body needed it more than air.]

[ She'd been so afraid of her connection to him, when it had first formed. She hadn't known what it had meant, that she'd been so irrevocably drawn to a Darkside user. But it hasn't mattered to her in a long time. The darkness in her was drawn to the darkness in him, just as the light in him was drawn to the light in her. Together they complimented each other in a perfect way.

The fire he'd stoked earlier built in her abdomen again, each accidental bite of his nails somehow making her pleasure heightened, more aware of the way their bodies move and the way he ground into her.

She comes clinging to him, rocking her hips against his as her arms stay tightly locked around him. She gasps into his hair, her face pressed against it as sparks flood her body. ]

Keep going, keep going,

[ She whimpers as she comes, desperate to prolong the feeling, the pleasure of each of his thrusts infinitely heightened by her overloaded senses. ]

[He shudders when she comes, his nails digging enough into her hips to draw blood as he tried to hold himself together. He could feel her walls ripple around him, her muscles tighten beneath his hands, and hear her whimpers as she begged him to keep going. She was perfection in his hands, breakable and yet strong in the same breath.

His hands relax and he rubs soothing circles in the places he had dug into with his thumbs while his hips cant against hers, his pace slower and less frenzied. He didn't want it to end but he was so close. It wasn't more than a handful of thrusts later that he came undone, groaning into her shoulder.]

[ She rides her orgasm into his, and moans along with him, the ache in her hips where he broke skin dulled by the feeling of her entire body becoming jelly, melded into his as he empties himself into her.

Breathing heavily she unwraps her legs from his waist letting them lay bonelessly on the mattress on either side of his legs. Her hand moves up to his hair, pulling it back from his face so she can press her mouth to his temple. ]

I love you, Ben.

[He feels sated and happy. His breaths are labored as he snuggles close to her. Anywhere she touched him or kissed him spread a warmth that tingled throughout. She left his stomach full of butterflies and his limbs heavy. This was truly bliss, only made more perfect if he weren't currently experiencing these awkward physical changes.]

I know.

[He whispers against her skin, shifting to rest his cheek against her breast, her heartbeat filling his ears while her chest rose and fell. The pounding of her heart was like music to him.]

[ Smoothing her hand through his hair as he lays his head against her chest she savors this feeling of peace. The sound of their breathing and heartbeats the only sound in the room. Pressing her nose into his hair she closes her eyes, breathing in the scent of him, lips brushing over curls dampened by sweat. ]

I'm never going to stop telling you, now.

[ She knows, they both know, what it's like to feel like no one loves them. ]

[That breaks his heart and pieces it back together in one go. He's never had someone in his life who was so completely unafraid of him, who accepted him. He knew there were parts of himself that she couldn't accept but this was enough. She made him feel like he was enough.]

Me too. I'll tell you every day, as many times as you want.

[He kisses her sternum, sighing and breathing in the smell of sweat on her skin. The emotion she evoked stuck in his throat like a rock, making him want to press his lips tightly together and close his eyes. It hurt to still have wounds on his heart and soul. Words didn't erase this feeling of being as alone as the two of them have been for so long. Yet, little by little, he could slowly allow himself to heal. She was healing so many of those hurts. He could never do enough to repay that kindness.]

[ She pushes his hair back so she can kiss his forehead, soft smile never leaving her face. This feeling in her heart overwhelms all others, even the warm post-coital heaviness. It has its own sort of heaviness though at the same time it energizes her. She'd imagined it most of her life, what it would feel like to be loved. This was better than she had ever thought it would feel. ]

I might need you to say it a lot. At least at first.

Like I said. As many times as you want.

[He sighs in contentment when she kisses his forehead. It was still difficult for him to know peace after a lifetime of nightmares. The voices had gone but some scars were too deep. She was a healing balm he had desperately needed.]

I love you. [He kisses her sternum again before rising higher to kiss her collar bone and repeating his words. Kiss, repeat, kiss, repeat. Eventually his mouth finds hers and his hands find hers to hold them to the mattress while he kissed her.]

I'm not letting you get away from me a second time.

[He wouldn't be letting go of her hand now that he has it. Maybe it was that possessive side of him but there was no way he was letting her slip away again. If any of her friends appeared he wouldn't let them distance her from him.]

[ Each kiss and affirmation sends warmth through her body, skin tingling in his wake. The small power he has in this moment over her is something beyond the light and the darkness. Her hands go to his willingly and she threads her fingers through his, kissing him back with intensity. She reveled in the feel of his weight against her, his soft lips moving against hers. They were a perfect being when they were together, nothing could touch them. ]

I'll never leave you again. I love you. I should have realized it sooner.

Mm. Maybe I'm the one who needs to hear that a few times.

[He kisses her nose, smiling softly as he does.]

Just a reminder now and again.

[He squeezes her fingers gently, his lips ghosting over hers. It wasn't that he didn't trust her to stick by her word, but the two of them have tiptoed around this for so long that it's hard for him to imagine himself as someone she wouldn't eventually leave. Everyone else had left him. Even if they went back tomorrow he would have no one to return to. He couldn't go back to his mother. He wouldn't have Rey by his side.]

I'm sorry I wasn't more careful, by the way. Did I hurt you?

[He drew blood, yes, but he's sure he hurt her too by not being able to completely prepare her, as it were. He'd been impatient, needy. She wasn't angry at him, at least, so that was a sign he hadn't completely soured things.]

If we're ever separated I'll fight until we're together again.

[ She knows that if they return home they'll be on different sides of the war, and it might be complicated, but their souls were connected. She'd do what she had to do to be with him.

His question makes her smile a little, and she kisses the corner of his mouth. ]

A little. It's more like a pinch, but once you were inside it was fine. You're bigger than average, I think. Not that I've anything to compare it to.

Bigger than-

[He can't help but laugh. There was obviously no one he would ever compare himself to but the fact that she considered him bigger made him feel embarrassed and amused at the same time.]

I'll take that as a compliment.

[He separates long enough to move to his side, pulling her with him to wrap his arms and one of his wings around them. It was still weird but he could get used to it. He vaguely recalls her wings too.]

This could be interesting when we both have wings during the triple moon. If we both end up with wings.

[He nestles in close, kissing her mouth and then her jaw and throat. He wasn't looking for sex again but the closeness, the feeling of her skin pressed against his. It made it all the more real to be able to kiss her like this.]

[ Rey looks a little embarrassed when he laughs at her, and would probably hit him in the shoulder if he didn’t have her hands captive. ]

Not that I’ve measured but I looked it up and I’m fairly certain you’re bigger. Stands to reason, you’re bigger in general.

[ She bites her lip so she stops talking, and is happy to shift with him, smiling again when his wing wraps around them. It’s a strange leathery sensation, but also warm, and she loves feeling like she’s totally wrapped up with him. She relaxes a little, her hands resting on his neck as he kisses her, eyes drifting closed as his lips wander the skin of her throat. ]

We’ll figure it out. Hopefully I won’t be in heat at the same time, it seems like I get one or the other, I haven’t had both at once, yet.

[He hums against her skin, focusing on the taste of her against his lips. His tongue darts out to taste the sweat sticking to her.]

Well, good to know no one else will be able to meet your expectations besides me.

[He grins, scraping his teeth over her shoulder while the hand at her lower back traces her spine. He knew no one else would be able to work. He had already tried it himself, much to his regret. She was it for him.]

I do like it when you're in heat. You usually ask for sex more.

[He's only mildly teasing. He knows she can't help it any more than he can help the intense anger that Sanguis gives him. He got bits and pieces of it through their bond as she got bits and pieces from him. The idea of her going through it alone was one he wouldn't entertain. He's angry enough on a normal day so it barely even bothered him as long as he meditated, but what she goes through each month feels so much worse in comparison.

After a moment he lifts his head again and wraps his arms around her, cradled against him by the wing wrapped around her. His mouth meets hers while he holds her close, feeling sated and happier than he would be on a normal day. She made him happier just by virtue of her existence.]

[ Rey decides to let the topic of his cock go, embarrassed she’d even mentioned it, and focuses instead on sliding her hands along the hard lines of his neck and shoulders. She loves to run her fingers along his muscle, let her hands wander over familiar territory.

She lets out a small laugh when he comments about her heat, embarrassed by that, too. ]

I hate it. It feels good at the time but after... I just wish our first time together hadn’t been because of it. I feel like I’m not in control of myself.

[ Not meaning to ruin any moment she kisses him, happy in their moment together. She slides her hands over his ribcage, tucking them under his arms so she can settle against him. ]

The best part of it is how you take care of me.

[On the contrary, it doesn't ruin the moment at all. He understands what she means. It would have made things less complicated if they had been able to come to this on their own terms.]

Would you have wanted me back then if it hadn't been for that?

[He knows with certainty he would have wanted her. He'd wanted her from the moment they'd touched hands - maybe even before that. Struggle as he might against it, she had been the object of his obsessions for a while. They hadn't known each other long but it had felt like their souls knew one another, as sappy as that sounded.]

I don't want you to be without. Ever.

[He knew what it was to be deprived of genuine affection. Sure his family had tried to love him but it was hard to love someone when you feared them. Rey had just been alone, abandoned. No one had even tried to love her. That was more lonely than facing the reality that he was just a monster.]

[ Rey hesitates, not sure how to answer that. She had wanted him. She’d wanted him from the moment they touched hands, and every moment after. It had killed her to leave him prone on the floor of the Supremacy.

But she had wanted Ben Solo. Not Kylo Ren. Exhaling she runs her hands over the back of his shoulders, fingertips ghosting the edges of his wings. ]

I didn’t want you that way. I don’t regret it happening, but there was a lot we should have figured out... before complicating matters with sex.

[ She sighs, leaning her head forward to rest on his chest, her forehead pressed to his skin. She appreciated that he’d pushed things aside to be with her, but even now, every now and again she gets this glimpse of him and realizes that she’s seeing him through the cracks in his mask, that he still is very much hiding behind Kylo Ren when being Ben Solo is too raw. He makes her happy, though. More often than not. ]

I just don’t want you to feel like you have to care for me, when I’m such a mess.

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