letoldthingsdie | Inbox for prismatica

[ She can feel the frustration rolling of him just as much as she can hear it in his voice. This in turn frustrates her, like his mood is catching. She turns to look at him over her shoulder, though that immediately cools her anger. Looking at him laying there, dotted with black and red scales, massive wings folded behind him Her beautiful monster. She's always known what he was. ]

I know. I also know the torture hurt you, too. I could feel your emotions. That was honestly the only thing that kept me grounded.

[ She reaches out, taking his hand and squeezing it briefly. ]

I need to go clean up.

[His stomach is in knots. He wants to drag her back to bed and keep her there. Over and over again he tries to tell her how he wasn’t worth the faith she gave him. Part of him wished he could make her turn. Then it would be easier. Maybe she would care less about how good she wants him to be. The part of him he kept hidden away hated himself for even thinking such ideas into existence.]

Do you want me to leave?

[Her hand didn’t do much to quell the anxiety he felt. It hit him like a tidal wave as he kept his eyes on her. He felt small, afraid of the rejection he was sure was coming. His feet touch the floor as he gets up as well, already thinking of trying to hunt down his clothes. A shower in his own apartment would have to do, if she planned to send him away.]

Edited 2020-01-27 05:37 (UTC)

[ She's frustrated because he tries so hard to push her back, even when he's wanting to let her in. That's all this is, and she has to try to be the bigger person. She's not always great at that, even if she's allied herself with the Light. But she sees that fear in his eyes, and frowns at him as he stands. ]

No, I don't want you to leave. I'm going to be two minutes. Then we can go back to fighting about whether or not you deserve my love, if that's really what you want. I'd be happy if you would just accept it because gods know I'm not perfect either.

[He sits on the bed again, hands tucked into his lap. She wasn't making him leave, but he could tell she was unhappy with him. He wanted to say something but didn't know what.]

Okay. I should probably clean up too - after you're done.

[He would sit here and wait in the mean time. Her words surprised him. It wasn't as if he was used to someone trying so hard to convince him he was loved. His parents had tried to save him but it wasn't enough. The damage had been done - by his family and by Snoke.]

We don't- we can do something else, or talk about something else.

[He sucks on his bottom lip, trying not to show on his face just how sullen he feels. Berating himself, he wanted to just pull his hair out or hit himself on the head- any means to punish himself. Snoke wasn't here to punish him anymore.]

[ It's hard to stay mad at him when he's sitting there naked looking like a punished child. She takes a deep breath, before holding her hand out to him as she stands there. ]

Come on. My bath is big enough for both of us even with your wings.

[He stares at her hand for all of a second before getting up and taking it. There was a strong desire to put his hands on her waist that he had to push down. He hated how much more he wanted to touch her, to invade her space, while he was like this. His thoughts never remained very pure either. It was just a bath, he reminded himself.]

You just want to conserve water, don't you?

[He smiles fondly, though a little sadly. He knows how much of a precious resource water is on planets like Jakku. Thankfully he had never had to experience the same hardships. Being born to a princess had its advantages.]

[ Rey lets out a small laugh, shaking her head as she tugs him along with her to the bathroom. ]

No, you just looked so sad sitting there I couldn't leave you.

[ Once in the bathroom she moves to turn the shower on, pushing aside the brightly colored shower curtain and letting the water run to heat up before turning back to him. ]

Conserving water is just a bonus.

[He shakes his head, smiling a bit.]

I thought you were going to ask me to leave.

[His hands move to her waist, finally, once she turns to face him. He glances over her shoulder at the tub, watching it fill with hot water.]

I don't know about fitting. In case you didn't notice I am pretty big.

[He grins, kissing her temple.]

[ She's still a little fatigued from their fight, still feeling a little emotionally raw, but she allows herself a soft smile when he settles his hands on her waist and kisses her temple. Her hands rest on his chest lightly, before she turns to look at the bath again. ]

I think it'll be fine if we're showering. Your wings would get bent if you tried to sit down.

Mm. True enough.

[He lets her go again, running a hand through his hair. If only he could will these wings away. He didn't like them. They were inconvenient and awkward. He would have to cut holes in his clothes, as she had mentioned.

He wanted to push down the guilt that he still felt, after it became apparent she wasn't rejecting him. It wasn't easy for him to avoid assuming no matter what it was impossible to feel anything but fear and loathing for him. She was different, willing to understand him.]

Just tell me when you think it's hot enough I guess.

[He looks around her bathroom, feeling a little awkward. It wasn't as if he made a habit of showering with her - or anyone for that matter.]

[ Aware that this is awkward she gently touches his cheek before turning back to the shower, checking the temperature of the water. Deciding it was good she steps back, pressing her back against the wall of the bathroom. ]

You get in first, I think it'll be better than you trying to maneuver around me with your wings.

You don't want to watch me make a fool of myself?

[Smiling warmly, he steps under the warm water, tucking himself to one side of the tub and holding out his hand so that she can step in after him. His wings are tucked neatly at his back, warm water hitting his skin while he stands further back from the spray to let her into the warmth.]

Once a day is probably enough.

[ She smirks at him, turning to grab a hair tie from the countertop and pull her hair up messily. Then she takes his hand, stepping into the tub and into the water, pulling the curtain closed behind her. ]

[For his part he's keeping his hands to himself, reaching for the soap to start scrubbing off the sweat and general grime that came with having sex. He started with his arms as he worked the soap into bubbly suds in his hands.

The scales dotted his neck and shoulders and back where his wings were tucked behind him. Otherwise, he looked perfectly normal as he always did, save for the yellow eyes. She could see the scars littering his body, particularly the most obious ones stretching across his face and down his chest and down by his hip where Chewie had shot him with his bowcaster.]

[ Part of her regrets pulling her along with him for very rudimentary and unsexy cleaning, but it's also strangely interesting to watch. She isn't shy with her gaze, watching as he cleans himself, eyes roving over the scars she's so familiar with. After a moment she moves to take the soap away from him, scrubbing it over her own skin, starting with the obvious mess dripping down her thighs. She turns her back to him to do this, bending over to scrub down her legs. ]

[Her back facing him allowed him to stop focusing so hard on himself - on behaving - quite so much. She was close enough to touch and he had to fight with the impulse to grab her waist or her rear. Her hair was tied up away from her neck which gave him a nice view of her nape. Once he's sure she's done bending down to clean up herself, he steps closer to her to kiss the back of her neck, his hands on her waist.]

Want me to do your hair or no?

[He liked running his fingers through her hair as much as she liked running her fingers through his. It was a simple gesture, but he liked the closeness. She had said they only needed a few minutes to clean up but he wasn't quite so ready for her to be dressed again. He had a few more days before Sanguis was done with him.]

[ Chills run up her spine when he moves in to kiss the back of her neck, her hands moving to cover his on her waist. She leans back against his chest, smiling as she turns her head to kiss his jaw. ]

I wasn't planning on it, but if you think you can do it with those claws...

For once I wish I could be done with Sanguis if I have to have these the whole time.

[It normally wasn't so intolerable if he could reign himself in. There were mixed results, such as right now. He was glad to just be touching her.]

Just a few more days.

[ She turns in his arms, wrapping hers around his neck and lacing her fingers behind his head to tug him down a little so she can press her forehead to his without having to risk standing on her toes in a slippery shower. ]

I wish there were a way to keep ourselves from having these changes. Or just the good ones.

[He would have leaned into her regardless. Being taller than most people, he was used to it. Rey wasn't quite as short as some women he knew - his mother being a good example - but short enough that he still enjoyed teasing her now and gain. He wasn't teasing her right now.

Leaning in, he kisses her, smiling against her lips. If he could bottle up how her lips tasted, soft and pliant against his, he would. He wanted to keep her for as long as she allowed. Maybe he'd keep her as his if she didn't allow it. There was always that thought, possessive and lurking, but he rarely heeded it.]

Me too, but I think I like your wings better than mine. You're still small enough that you wouldn't have problems fitting into doors.

[ She lets out a small huff of laughter, her hands sliding to his face, before drifting down to rest on his chest, loving the freedom to just put her hands wherever she likes. The water is warm on her back, but he's warm too. ]

Poor Ben, so big he can't fit through doors. At least you fit through mine.

Only because I somehow managed to fit a shirt over my wings.

[Her fingers on his skin and scales made him shiver. He could feel the water splashing against her skin from the shower and down her back.]

Should we go dry off? [His hands moved up and down her sides comfortably. As much as he wouldn't mind staying in here with her, there were just as many other places in her apartment he liked. The plants gave it more warmth than his own apartment had. Everything about her was warmer and more pleasant than he was and he couldn't help but bask in it.]

You just need to learn to tuck them in. I don't know why you didn't use your cloak.

[ She smiles, leaning in to press her lips to his chest, just absorbing the feel of his warmth and the water surrounding her, his wet skin on her mouth. She hums at his question, tilting her head back to look at him. ]

I don't know. Are you planning on getting me dirty again after we get out?

Because I blend in better wearing the clothes from this place.

[As if that was obvious only to him somehow. He stuck to his trade mark wardrobe of all-black but beyond that he found himself wearing clothes he'd purchased here more and more. His gloves were only worn for practicing his lightsaber now.]

Mm. Only if you ask nicely? [He smiles teasingly, his thoughts already going in that direction.]

Though your clothes are already off. We wouldn't even have to get undressed again.

[His hand teases along her thigh, thumb stroking and talon scraping along her inner thigh. He drops his mouth to her ear, his voice low when he speaks.]

In case you didn't notice before, I do become insatiable when it comes to you.

[It only became more pronounced during Sanguis. He could remember the times they had sex outside of their respective moonblessings, since the first time, and even then he felt as if he wasn't quite able to satisfy his thirst.]

Yes, you blend into the rainbow riot of clothes people here wear so well.

[ She replies dryly, still smiling. Rey herself wore a mixture, finding she was unwilling to completely discard reliable old garments in favor of some of the strange clothes here.

Thoughts of clothing flee her mind however, as his talons graze her inner thigh, his voice dropping to that low rumble that never failed to make her tingle at her core. She inhales through her nose, her hands gripping his shoulders for a beat, before they slide down, palms resting on his hipbones. ]

The feeling is mutual, you know. I feel like no matter how often we're together it's never enough.

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